Anxiety makes me feel like I’m full of moths. When you get excited for something, you get happy little butterflies, but the internal fluttering of anxiety is frantic and terrible. It’s in your stomach, making you sick. It’s in your throat, making it hard to breathe. It’s in your head, making it impossible to focus.
// Available as a print.
*hisses* that’s the avengers theme
Honestly, even though some fangirls are only supportive of him because of his looks, the people in Japan really took his win to heart.
Yuzuru Hanyu was not a typical Japanese Olympian. He was an inspiration and hope because he came from Sendai, an area close to the epicenter of the March 2011 earthquake that struck.
He not only suffered like the rest of Japan, he was on the verge of giving up his dream of figure skating until Japan gave him enough funding to head to Toronto to train (because his usual skating rink was destroyed by the earthquake).
When Hanyu won, it was a lesson that anything can happen if one tries enough. Hanyu was going to give up his dream, yet he pushed on with the support of others, ultimately winning gold and breaking the 100 point barrier in a short event.
Japan welcomes him back and encourages others to not forget their dreams, regardless of the situation. And now Hanyu even said that he will make use of himself in his hometown to continue helping with the recovery from the earthquake.
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed.
This is so perfect, I’ve thought of this countless times when I feel like a nobody.
I am grade 12 student who has just recently graduated. You might call me accomplished, and in a way, I am, but not in the way you’d think. 12 years of pouring over text books and being lined up to be judged in front of my peers has not made me any more intelligent. I can tell you the first 45 digits of Pi and I can explain to you the difference between an acid and a base, I can recite the Pythagorean Theorem in my sleep, I will recite lines out of a textbook like they are a religion. But I cannot tell you the value of security, or of kindness. The distinct contrast between personal health and personal gain. I can tell you in grade 10 four of my classmates attempted to take their own lives before finals. I can tell you our counsellors office is always booked. I can tell you how when I didn’t understand something in AP Chemistry my teacher asked me to leave if I could not participate in his class. I merely asked him to explain a question. Instead of doing his job and teaching, he told me to leave. Told me I was not good enough to be there. Mistakes are viewed as failure in these hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your entire life course. There is no “average” here. We all must exceed expectations. Do your parents know that a grade that is considered average is a “C”? When I got a C in fourth grade my parents grounded me for a month. They said I was lazy and stupid and incompetent and that I’d better smarten up and stop fooling around. I never fooled around. I am driven by a deep need to impress others. I never fool around. I worked and worked and worked, with a deep hollow of anxiety in my chest. I have never been good at History, but I worked and worked and I attained at best a low B. It was not good enough. It is not said but we are expected to put our education before our personal health. It is not asked of us, but it is what we must do to achieve what we are asked to achieve. Our teachers will tell you, “Oh, I only give them one hour of homework each night.” Which is essentially true, each of my five teachers only gives me one to two hours of homework each night. Hmm, that adds up to 5-10 hours of homework, and overdue classwork, and projects. Say goodbye to sleep, say goodbye to feeling calm. I’ve developed a deep rooted anxiety disorder due to school and perfectionistic tendencies. Even when you get 100 percent on an assignment they still criticise you, it is never good enough. One slip, and you are in deep deep trouble. I can tell you that 90 percent of us try our hardest, and our teachers and parents stand in the sidelines, screaming, “You can do better than that!”
Why I say our education system is flawed (via totoros